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Slide Dazzles






Caleb Joseph tried. He really did. Taco Bell must be his favorite fast food place because he was thinking outside of the chalupa. He made David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez look like an Ice Capades team. He made David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez look like extras in Blades of Glory. He made David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez look like professional athletes. 

Caleb Joseph seems like a good dude. He didn’t want to run over the Yankees catcher, Austin Romine, so he did a half slide that would shatter the shins of most mortals. He was trying to hold Romine up but he tumbled to the ground like a child who had just taken their first steps. He could have gone all Pete Rose and barreled through Romine then stepped on his throat with a spike “accidentally” as he got up.

Caleb Joseph should not teach clinics on how to slide. Caleb Joseph is no Jackie Robinson; if Jackie Robinson slid like that when he stole home, he probably wouldn’t be remembered as fondly. If Jackie Robinson slid like that when he stole home, 42 would be identified more as the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. If Jackie Robinson slid like that when he stole home, we would all have Larry Doby ofrendas in our TV rooms.  


SQuiz
Why did Caleb Joseph do that weird half slide thing?
Created 8/2/18
  1. He was confused because he thought he saw his high school gym teacher in the first row of the stands as he rounded third base but it turned out to be a hot dog vendor who was actually Joey Chestnut in disguise
  2. He thought himself out of the moment
  3. He let the pressure get to him
  4. He forgot the proper mechanics of how to slide

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