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Greek Freak First Times

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    There are a lot of things Giannis Antetokounmpo hasn’t done in his time in America. One of them is eat a corn dog which is really just a Guido hot dog. These are some other American firsts the Greek Freak has recently experienced in his journey to candidacy for president in 2020. 

Had a Memorial Day barbecue in a Costco (Throw some steaks on the grill, grab the inflatable rafts from the ceiling for a nice float through the alcohol section and doze off in a pup tent as you gaze at the rafters (“Hey that one looks like a frying pan. Wow, the North Stain Mark!”). Send Todd on a free sample run, grab some fresh sheets from aisle five and pick up a giant pizza from the food court; ya’ll got it made in Costco! Why aren’t their apartments in Costco? Imagine…Welcome to Costco Court, your one stop home and shopping destination)) 

Had a fight with his neighbor in their shared driveway 

Traveled on an airplane with a dog that went to the bathroom in the aisle

Gave himself a nickname, ”The Athens Assassin”, even though people already call him the Greek Freak (his second choice was, “The Opa Dope”) 

Fist pumped the night away

Reminisced about the legendary Route 66 in a 50s diner

Performed a set of stand up comedy in a Laundromat (I always thought it was laundry mat; that would not be a very successful Laundromat if when you went back to pick up your clothes they were just in rug-form)

Owned two Tivos

Made it to the bottom of the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden

Started a defense chant at a football game when his team was losing by 30

Shot a bottle rocket off the roof of his house at the neighbor who he shares a driveway with

Related heavily to a Bruce Springsteen song 

Went streaking at Burning Man (which is actually a requirement for all attendees at the entrance) 

Had a funeral for his cat (world’s cutest pallbearers other than The Undertaker’s manager, Paul Bearer) 

SQuiz
What did Greek Freak put on his corn dog?
Created 6/5/18
  1. Mustard
  2. Ketchup
  3. Relish
  4. Tzatziki

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