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Greek Freak First Times

¬† ¬† There are a lot of things Giannis Antetokounmpo hasn’t done in his time in America. One of them is eat a corn dog which is really just a Guido hot dog. These are some other American firsts the Greek Freak has recently experienced in his journey to candidacy for president in 2020.¬†

Had¬†a Memorial Day¬†barbecue in a Costco (Throw some steaks on the grill, grab the inflatable rafts from the ceiling for a nice float through the alcohol section¬†and doze off¬†in a pup tent as you gaze at the rafters (“Hey that one looks like a frying pan. Wow, the North Stain Mark!”). Send Todd on a free sample run, grab some fresh sheets from aisle five¬†and pick up a giant pizza from the food court; ya’ll got it made in Costco! Why aren’t their apartments in Costco? Imagine…Welcome to Costco Court, your one stop home and shopping destination))¬†

Had a fight with his neighbor in their shared driveway 

Traveled on an airplane with a dog that went to the bathroom in the aisle

Gave himself a nickname,¬†”The Athens Assassin”,¬†even though people already call him the Greek Freak (his second choice was, “The Opa Dope”)¬†

Fist pumped the night away

Reminisced about the legendary Route 66 in a 50s diner

Performed a set of¬†stand up comedy in a Laundromat (I always thought it was laundry mat; that would not be a very successful Laundromat if when you went back to pick up your clothes they were just in rug-form)

Owned two Tivos

Made it to the bottom of the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden

Started a defense chant at a football game when his team was losing by 30

Shot a bottle rocket off the roof of his house at the neighbor who he shares a driveway with

Related heavily to¬†a Bruce Springsteen song¬†

Went streaking at Burning Man (which is actually a requirement for all attendees at the entrance)¬†

Had a funeral for his cat (world’s cutest pallbearers other than The Undertaker’s manager, Paul Bearer)¬†

What did Greek Freak put on his corn dog?
Created 6/5/18
  1. Mustard
  2. Ketchup
  3. Relish
  4. Tzatziki

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