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Clipper Darrell is now Laker Darrell

Look at that smile; you can smell the deceitfulness from a mile away. That’s the smile of a man who will take on the superfan status for one professional basketball team in a city that shares two professional basketball teams (in the same arena, even; Clipper Darrell doesn’t even have to change season tickets, he can just stay seated until October!) then switch to the other professional basketball team after they sign the greatest professional basketball player OF ALL TIME (come at me, Jordan; let’s take this to the links!) 

Call your parents to tell them you love them because Clipper Darrell woke up like Jason Bourne and thought he was a Lakers fan; these are some other momentous, plate tectonics level shifts that have shaken the universe to its core.

Jeff Probst is an American Idol judge

Kale is bad for you

TV is mostly quality especially reality (it depends on what you define as quality; if you consider watching Guidettes throw half full bottles of Grey Goose at Guidos whilst they traverse a living room full of giant bean bags like the drunkest obstacle course since Sylvester Stallone attempted to army crawl through mud under a ceiling of barbed wire at a Spartan Race in Simi Valley (he wasn’t even competing in the race, he just wandered onto the course and nobody had the bravado to tell Rocky that he couldn’t do something for fear of being accused of being a Commie), then reality television is already quality and I agree) 

Baseball is the most exciting sport

Tim Kurkjian is a former MMA fighter

Fantasy football matters in real life…a lot

Smart phones have become obsolete

Randy Johnson is a professional surfer

Venus is better than Serena

Audiences understand how figure skating competitions are judged

Will Ferrell is a sullen accountant

Amy Poehler does her own taxes

Paula Abdul writes a thesis about how judging someone’s ability to sing doesn’t necessarily mean you are judging them as a human being

Home run derbies have become extinct

LeBron switched from being the spokesperson for Sprite to Mountain Dew

Kale is good for you

Why did Clipper Darrell become Laker Darrell?
Created 7/4/18
  1. LeBron
  2. LeBron
  3. LeBron
  4. He looks good in purple and gold

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