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J.R. Allegedly Throws Fan’s Phone

Did J.R. Smith throw a fan’s phone? 

I ask myself this question every morning when I roll out of bed and look in the mirror. While I brush my teeth I ponder what kind of phone it could have possibly been; an iPhone X perhaps? Maybe just a lowly iPhone 5c? Or a *gulp and look around nervously to make sure no one is eavesdropping* Blackberry? *faint*

Did J.R. Smith throw a fan’s phone?

Why wouldn’t the Cleveland Catapulter throw a fan’s phone? In J.R.’s mind, he was doing the right thing. He already got his ring. He traversed the victory parade without even coming in the same zip code as one of his shirts. He outlasted LeBron in Cleveland. He won. 

Did J.R. Smith throw a fan’s phone?

Probably. None of us were there so we don’t know exactly what happened and it’s wrong to assign blame without knowing exactly what happened. But probably, right? If Vegas set the odds of which NBA player was the most likely to throw a fan’s phone, J.R. would be the favorite. If you include past players then Metta World Peace would be the favorite. If you include announcers than Bill Walton would be the favorite except it would be because he thought the phone was a prophetic seashell because Bill Walton thinks most things are prophetic seashells (it’s actually the name of his Nada Surf cover band.) 

Did J.R. Smith throw a fan’s phone? 

No way. J.R. Smith would never do that because he is an upstanding citizen of the NBA community. Smith is not only one of the league’s leaders on the court but off as well. He will undoubtedly continue to offer positive contributions to the world through his wide array of talents. J.R. also loves cell phones and would never do a thing to hurt one. 

Did J.R. Smith throw a fan’s phone? 

Next time you meet a fork in the road, ask yourself this simple question. 

Why did J.R. allegedly throw a fan's phone?
Created 8/2/18
  1. He was bored
  2. He was irate about Jamba Juice being out of Aloha Pineapple
  3. He was confused about M. Night Shyamalan's oeuvre
  4. He was perturbed that Kevin Love just beat him in Madden with the Lions

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