Catman @OzCatman Overheard on the range as pro-am amateur player leaves with his caddy, seemingly unhappy … “Dude … you got chocolate on my wedge!” Caddying 101. 5:41 PM - 11 Apr 2018
Caddies are unique to golf. Why aren’t they used in all facets of life?
At the bar: You’re going to need a strong approach. Go for a fluffy lie like you’re the celebrity doctor who repaired Ben Foster’s rotator cuff.
Grocery store: Loosen your grip on the cart. Keep your head down and make your way to aisle five. Mulligan, go to the sweets section and fill up on Goobers, otherwise known as John Dalys.
Movie theater: Isle of Dogs is in your sweet spot. Ready Player One is in the groove. Red Sparrow is a duck hook.
Gym: Close your stance on this Elliptical. Check your center of gravity on the yoga ball. Try going croquet style in this pick up game. Stop chicken winging that steam room. Go for a cuppy lie in this Downward Dog pose. Propose a Round Robin on the StairMaster.
Office: Choke up on the paper cutter.
Social media: Read the greens on Twitter. Pivot on Instagram. Push a slice on Facebook and poke your geology professor.
Vacation: Look at the swing arc of your hotel lobby. Toe the approach in the breakfast buffet and don’t hog the french toast.
Beach: Calm down, it’s just a volleyball game. You’re going to need your head in the game to compete in this sand castle competition. Steer the Frisbee away from those elderly people listening to the seagulls.
Audition: Be yourself. Command the room. Tee up for an offer but settle for a callback.
Concert: Don’t sing along the whole time, no one paid to listen to you. Waggle to the beat. Visualize a short line for the Porta Potties.
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