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Are You Djoking Me?

Who, Juan? Juan is maybe the best tennis player in the world, for real. I feel the porcupiney tingle of fear crawling down my spine every time I merely think of other people with three names. They just remind me of the haunted house of a tennis match I have in store for me next time I go head to head with JDP. I had to pull over last week when I drove by a milkshake stand after the thought of that method acting, shoe cobbling, sophisticated freak tried to emancipate itself in a top hat. By the way, Abe Lincoln could without a doubt jam on a regulation hoop, OK
Not only is Juan one of the greatest tennis players in the universe, a player with such miraculous form that it will be tirelessly pored over for many a night with a pot of coffee on in how to play tennis instructional videos until the dinosaurs come back but he is also probably the nicest person to ever walk on this rock hurtling through the galaxy that we call Earth.
One time I saw him help an entire Pilates class of senior citizens cross an eight lane side road without a crosswalk in the general vicinity. Why didn’t I help? It’s easy for you to say, sitting there on that beanbag that is a giant Homer Simpson face. Where did you get that thing anyway? I might want to pick one up… for an elderly friend with great muscle endurance. 

- Novak Djokovic when asked if he had any thoughts about the upcoming U.S. Open Final by a very comfortable and even more lackadaisical pod of bloggers

Who will win the women's U.S. Open?
Created 9/7/18
  1. Osaka
  2. Serena
  3. Tie (There's as much tying in tennis as there is crying in baseball! Thank you, I'll be hosting the karaoke show Tuesday nights for the rest of September - have a great night, folks thanks for coming out!)
  4. Feminism

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